Ricky Bruch...Swedish Discus Thrower...Vitamin Enthusiast...Probable Serial Killer

During the 14 months of filming from the clip below, Ricky Bruch consumed 135,000 vitamins.  Around 3:00 into the video, you can see him shooting up, with what are most likely anabolic steroids, and then losing his shit all over the gym.  Bottom line, Ricky Bruch will kill you.

Mike Tyson is a Tremendous Asshole...but He's also the Scariest Puncher that Ever Lived

Laces Are for the Weak...Real Men Only Use Them to Strangle People in Prison

The Rope Pulling Machine

I would like to take a moment to formally rescind my negative comments concerning the rope pulling machine.  The following is true:

1.  The rope pulling machine has a new place in my heart.

2.  My gym, aside from it's propensity to buy useless machinery, seems to have done something right.

3.  Hey gym, even a broken clock is right twice a day, so get over yourself.

Oh! The Places You'll Go!

"Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!"
-Dr Seuss

Rip Torn

Derek Poundstone

He Sleeps the Sleep of the Just

What Can You Do if You Get Pinned While Squatting...Call Your Mom

Things That Suck About My Gym

1 . The crotchety old women that nap on the gym floor, and scowl in the direction of any noise above a whisper.

2. a. People that train like this:

2. b.  and like this:

3. The excessive amounts of useless machinery.

And the squat rack curlers, and the lame arm tattoo's, and the weightlifting gloves, etc...

James Toney Joins the UFC...James Toney Promptly Dies in the UFC

Napoleon

Our new French Bulldog, Napoleon, and his stuffed Squirrel.

2012, the Movie: Straight to DVD...by Way of Major City Theater Release

Have you seen 2012?...Don't

The Turks 1, Tsunami 0

After we spent the week in Hawaii on our Honeymoon, I have come to the following conclusions:

1.  Hawaii is a third world country and should secede from the Union.  Outside of the tourist areas, buildings are run down, the large condos look like something cut and pasted from Rwanda, the state color is rust, the roads and highways look like a Bosnian war zone, and everything is appropriately covered in graffiti. 

2.  All Hawaiians are fat, lazy, assholes.  The fact that Pidgin English is considered an unofficial language of Hawaii is retarded.  It's as if all the locals dropped out of elementary school so they could home school themselves in the tenets of "tourist hating," which makes sense because their entire pathetic economy is based on tourism. 

3.  Tsunami's are bullshit.  If you're not a local, no one cares whether you live or die.  When we asked where to go to avoid drowning in the tsunami, officials at the airport explained: "uh...I dun know bra...maybe you take a bus..."  Our hotel, which was 5 feet from the ocean, suggested we just stay above the fifth floor to avoid the Tsunami.  Really?  Let's load the top of the building with a bunch of extra weight, and then hope the first wave doesn't undermine the foundation of the building before debris can be smashed into the rear of the building as the wave retreats.  Keep in mind that if the first wave damaged the building to an extent that it needed to be evacuated, you would be killed by the second or third wave as you made a run for the mountain.

4.  If a natural disaster is imminent, your only hope is to rent an aptly named Ford "Escape"

Mike and Julie Get Married...and the World Becomes a Better Place