1. Hawaii is a third world country and should secede from the Union. Outside of the tourist areas, buildings are run down, the large condos look like something cut and pasted from Rwanda, the state color is rust, the roads and highways look like a Bosnian war zone, and everything is appropriately covered in graffiti.
2. All Hawaiians are fat, lazy, assholes. The fact that Pidgin English is considered an unofficial language of Hawaii is retarded. It's as if all the locals dropped out of elementary school so they could home school themselves in the tenets of "tourist hating," which makes sense because their entire pathetic economy is based on tourism.
3. Tsunami's are bullshit. If you're not a local, no one cares whether you live or die. When we asked where to go to avoid drowning in the tsunami, officials at the airport explained: "uh...I dun know bra...maybe you take a bus..." Our hotel, which was 5 feet from the ocean, suggested we just stay above the fifth floor to avoid the Tsunami. Really? Let's load the top of the building with a bunch of extra weight, and then hope the first wave doesn't undermine the foundation of the building before debris can be smashed into the rear of the building as the wave retreats. Keep in mind that if the first wave damaged the building to an extent that it needed to be evacuated, you would be killed by the second or third wave as you made a run for the mountain.
4. If a natural disaster is imminent, your only hope is to rent an aptly named Ford "Escape"
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